Achieving Couple Balance

Achieving Couple Balance

Today we face a common problem between couples. Unintentionally, and unbeknownst to many women, they are taking power from their mate. Although they are attracted to their man for his masculine qualities, such as strength, leadership, cognitive skills, and stamina, women accidentally emasculate little by little in small ways. As a result, they notice their man is less virile and not acting like the leader and white knight that they desire and find charming.

Ways that women emasculate men:

• “Why did you do that?” (Questioning her man)
• “Don’t turn here. It is quicker to take route 12 to route 9.” (Directing her man)
• “No thanks. I can do it myself.” (Not allowing her man to be her hero)
• “I don’t want you to go backcountry skiing with Roger. You two are not careful when you are together and I worry all day.” (Doubting her man’s abilities)
• “I need you home by six every night.” (Controlling her man)

Taking away small amounts of power from a man adds up over time. You can shift the energy back to supporting your man for who he is, but it doesn’t happen in a day. It is a shift that requires effort on both sides.
Generally, women want a capable man, not a less mighty one, which means they need to inspire and support their men. Empowering men begins with rewarding them for their efforts. They don’t see the point of doing things they don’t like unless they receive recognition or benefit. Emasculation is removing their power and their rewards.
Video games and sports offer men points for every correct step they take. If they mess up on a video game, they can always push the reset button and begin again without judgment. You can learn to interact with your man in a way that makes sense to him.

Ways to empower and motivate your man:
• Give him an “A” for effort. If he is trying, show your appreciation by giving him points, such as your smile or a thank you.
• Compliment him for his accomplishments.
• Express confidence in his abilities.
• Let him know with your body language how much you appreciate his affection.
• Tell him how you feel as clearly as possible right when you are feeling it, but not in an attacking manner. Take responsibility for your feelings and don’t blame them on him.

• Let him help you. Ask him for help when you need it and express your appreciation.
• Every time he does something nice for you, show appreciation with a smile.
• Express what you need in a clear manner using “I” statements and avoiding “you” statements.
• Let him be himself and have time to do his guy things without feeling guilty.
• Be your full feminine self to compliment his masculine strengths.
You fell in love with your man because of his brawny qualities. Appreciate and support his masculine energy and you will be more attracted to him than ever.

3 Responses

  1. Jennifer T.

    Super helpful. Thank you. I was wondering if you do classes or webinars? I belong to a group of women that would love to take a workshop on this subject.

  2. Crazy good. My husband and I have become too unisex. Is it possible to re-balance our relationship beck to the masculine and feminine, like you talk about, or is it too late if we did it all wrong already? We need some help. Which book would help us the most?

  3. thanks for this great article. I’m going to check out one of your books. Helpful information.